Bet you thought you wouldn't hear from me for a while, huh ? Productivity B!TCHES !!
I'm only doing it for the David Lyons screencaps, really. You gotta know how to motivate yourself ! I feel like I haven't been showing a lot of appreciation lately. Sure the show is flawed, but,.. dat face... and eyes, and tan, and altogether perfect-ness.
So, Neville hands Connor back over and Bass is all "my baby you're safe lemme touch ya" and I'm like stop it with the good dad bit ! IT IS TOO ADORABLE, I can't handle all the fuzzy fluffiness, please STAHP!
Theeeere, much better.
Anyway, we can't have 3 different "groups" trying to take the patriots down, so the Monroes and the one Neville merge into one psychotic little party. NOW, onto badass Charlie.
Because now that Monroe's not around to see it, Charlie's all rough talk and bitchiness. And it is glorious.
So they find out that the patriots have a freaking tank of mustard gas coming in. Actually it's already here, attached to a train. And smarty pants over here is like "we need Monroe, omfg what are we gonna do without Monroe, you guys suck, you're not smart like him, you can't do this, he is king, he is the emperor of my heart.." ... or something..
And Charlie's saying all of that and more. With her eyes. Or she's annoyed. Cuz she be like 'that's MY man b!tch !" One or the other. Yes.
So they all head back to the hideout to have their super council of badasses. By the way it's actually a really nice hiding place, it's huge, and it has cash registers, so, like a convenience store or something, DEFINITELY NOT a shed.
Pretty blond people.
Anyway, everyone's like what are we gonna do and Miles just goes WE'RE STEALING A TRAIN. And I love the way he says it, like well f#ck me, we're hijacking a f#cking train, f#cking hell...
|Or just kill me now. With whiskey. Please.|
Except, one doesn't just help themselves to a train. One needs help, so Gene's b!tch is getting them some. A well-meaning Willoughby fellow and his loving daughter.
Miles is somewhat distressed by the quality and quantity they're getting, and Charlie is being a cocky little b!tch.
I love sneering Charlie, and WTF Miles is legitimately the best Miles there is ! It's killing me how cute they are.
I guess since it was almost the end of the season and possibly the show, they wanted to make up for the utter lack of Charlie and Miles this whole season, so right after this shameless display of prettiness and contempt, they have a little heart to heart.
'Cause the incompetent guy that's gonna help them is the dad of the little pain in the ass that Rachel didn't want Miles to kill. Whom Miles ended up killing in Austin. And that gets them talking about being a good guy and I guess it's sweet but I don't really care.. Doing it for the screencaps.
And the adorableness.
So they're ready to go and f#ck everyone up the ass, but the blond mercenary asshole who's in love with Monroe is a tattling little b!tch. Which I'm grateful for. Monroe already missed one opportunity to have fun spraying people in the face, he ain't letting that happen again. You don't mess with a man's fun time.
They get inside the whatever that patriot operated place is where the train station is, hiding in a wagon.
Gene's back hurts from the ride and Charlie's only reaction to that is "MWARFWAHAHA YOU're OLD and Imma graceful gazelle LMFAO"
Then it's stabbing time, YAY!!
|Stealthy BAMF don't test me|
Okay, now, Charlie's only had like a year of learning and experiencing all this sh!t, so we'll forgive her for not taking into account that if other people realize the guy that sounds the alarm is dead, they'll sound it for him.
Plus it gives us more badassery, and we all know where this is headed anyway, so really not a big deal.
Good job, Charlie.
So they shoot people, and when they're done they laugh together.
CAN YOU NOT?
STOP IT. With the smiles and beautiful faces and sh!t, what exactly are you trying to prove?!
|Happier than a freaking puppy|
And then, one of the last few really good scenes we're likely to ever get.
Miles, Charlie, Gene and the dead kid's dad (nobody gives a flying f#ck about him but whaddaya gonna do, he was there) all get back to the traitorous mercenary b!tch. Enters the psycho squad of hell.
Miles is like wtf, serious-f#cking-ly, Bass you're such a party pooper.
Bass is like HELL YEAH I'M A BADASS GIMME DAT TRAIN.
Charlie's looking her best for her man.
Then Miles and Monroe have their little 'come back to me bro' moment. To the untrained eye this can seem slightly homo-erotic.
Which is really awkward for Connor. Cuz he a little b!tch. All right I'll stop saying "cuz". #toomuchsass
Anyway, they're all ready to go but Tom decides he's gonna shoot the Matheson b!tch after all.
Now, sadly, this moment is more Miloe than it is Charloe, because of course Miles gets in front of Charlie like WOaHwoAH DuDE NO and that's where Monroe turns back around and sees a gun pointed at his best friend trying to protect his niece. And not just Neville being an ass to Charlie.
Miles is so freaking adorable he puts himself between Charlie and the gun, and Neville makes it abundantly clear he has no problem shooting Miles first to get to his son's killer.. Thus there is absolutely no way to legitimately interpret this moment as anything else than Bass sticking up for his friend and his niece.
So, in conclusion, f#ck you Miles.
Anyway, Bass tries to use his authority over Neville. He has none.
Miles tries to reason with him. BETTER. But still not working.
So, Bass goes Alpha psycho on his ass (MORE BETTER) and of course, Mr Connor freaking Bennet has a problem with that.
You insecure little sack of horse sh!t.
In the end, Bass is a badass and it's all too blurry to even bother trying to show it to ya.
Miles is grateful, obviously.
|If you squint real hard there's a big fat thank you written all over that face|
And then, whaddaya know ??
|THAT IS A LEGIT THANK YOU FOR THAT I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER FACE|
The longing looks are back. And Bass's face is just so perfect I can't even..
THE INTENSITY GOOD LORD BABY JESUS
And after all that excitement, they realize the tank is f#cking empty. They did all that for f#cking nothing.
The actual gas is right here, with the President of Texas and half of Willoughby.
So Miles suggests they go and get it.
In the end, Bass is on the adorable puppy team too, so he has to go. And Conny prissy pants is not happy about that so he decides he'll stay and sulk.
And not a single f#ck was given.
While we're at it, I wish they would stop always putting Miles and Bass in the front. If someone absolutely has to ride shotgun, fine ! Let it be Charlie for f#cking once ! As it is, she's just the kid in the back. That's not good for business.
Back at the big party of doom, Gene's b!tch finds the gas because she was smart.
And Truman is being creepy, gross and loving.
I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH!!
So he kills her, because of love and reasons, and everyone's about to die a horrible death. Roll credits.