Game of Thrones : Uh, Seriously ? Just Like That ?

Well, if anything, this week's episode of Game of Thrones was interesting. Started out with emo time, Robb and his mummy finally have a breakthrough and are able to work together, as family, to bring down their enemies. Awwww.

It's actually not that cute, Robb just realizes she's always right, she's a real strategist, she can think ahead when he can't. He went against her advice once before, and clearly he's better off listening and obeying her every command without question.

But war plans don't really matter. The big event of the episode was Edmure's wedding with one of Walder Frey's daughters or granddaughters, since being of age is clearly not an issue in the GoT world.

Earlier in the season Robb himself was promised to one of the Frey girls. But he decided he couldn't resist the young mouthy nurse's charms and married her in secret. Like, no, screw everybody, I'll do what I want ! Problem is he made an oath. Which he broke. Big deal.

So when the whole family goes to The Twins for the wedding, Walder Frey makes it clear he was offended by the creepiest inspection and complimenting of Robb's pregnant wife's .. attributes. Anyway, Robb makes a nice little speech, a well-written apology if you ask me, and you think everything's gonna be okay because why wouldn't it be ? Right ? Riiiight ?? WROOOONG. Haha what. A. Joke.

 The wedding part was actually kind of cute. Mostly because Edmure's wife isn't a degenerate incest-resulting freak. She is actually quite lovely. And she was all like "I hope I'm not a disappointment." Awwwwwwww baby, no of course you're not, you're so pretty !

I love the face he makes when he sees her. It's adorable because you can see he's happy but his face barely changes. Surprise and relief so very subtly expressed. Nice. It was so sweet.

After the wedding is over, it's time to par-tey !

I'm such a girl. I am just so happy that Edmure's wife is this pretty young and innocent girl. She is adorable. Sigh. Anyway, the night goes on as planned, everybody's having a great time, and I mean everybody. Those moments are so rare on Game of Thrones, you really have to savor them.

But then, Catelyn gets a bad feeling when the "band" (for the life of me I couldn't tell you what they called it) starts playing a sad but sweet melody. There you get that sinking feeling that something is very wrong but you just have no idea what, because there's no way you could possibly imagine what's gonna happen.

A word on Arya. She was so close to getting back to her family. Hey some people are lucky, some aren't. She and the Hound got rejected at the entrance but smart as she is, she snuck in just in time to see her brother's men and wolf (yes, his wolf too) get savagely assassinated. Good times. But then the Hound got her back and out of there.

So back to the conspiracy thing. Suddenly, for like the fourth time, Walder Frey hails Robb. So, naturally, Robb is all trusting and "Yeah bro ? Nice party, what's up ?" And then BAM ! Some dude stabs his wife like 46 times, just to be sure. And archers -freaking archers, start shooting people, like distance execution. I mean I get it, why get your hands dirty, right ?

Robb was shot by like 6 arrows but dude will not go down. He crawls to the corpse of his wife and just stares at her. That kind of sucks, I mean if you want to suddenly kill a whole bunch of major characters at least, show us the pain, the despair, make us feel it. I wanted a goodbye. And if there wasn't a goodbye, I wanted Robb to live and make a moving speech about how he couldn't even say goodbye to her. But no, it's just she's dead, he's just like wtf? and minced fetus for everyone !

I've always disliked Catelyn. First, it was because she didn't like, nay, was repulsed by Jon Snow. Then it was just her. Her personality, everything she said and did, the person she was... Yeah all that.

But in the end, her last moments alive, where the time I liked her the most. The way she just dragged Walder Frey's wife/daughter from under the table and managed to stay practical, like okay we have a situation, we're under attack. Well, attack back. Threaten the son of a bitch, so what if it didn't work ? Not her fault he's a psychotic piece of shit.

But it didn't change anything, they were on enemy territory without even knowing it. They ddidn't stand a chance.

Even the wolf. Kill every single Stark, I'll live. Except for Jon snow, please, please, never kill him. But still, I might get over it, but kill the wolf ? The adorable little baby wolf ? Are you freaking kidding me ?

I am not happy with Game of Thrones. Okay it was a nice episode, I really like where the whole Daenerys thing is going, but seriously ? So the last true heirs to Winterfell are two little boys, a little girl, a teenager and Jon Snow. Yes, for me Jon snow is a Stark. He's Ned Stark's son isn't he ? But still, 2 little boys, one little girl, one teenager and one bastard. What a legacy. Only one episode left, I can't wait to see how they're gonna wrap this up.

Game of Thrones : The Blackwater's On Fire

 Best. Episode. Ever.

You have faith huh ? Well good luck with that.

So the episode starts at night, everyone is getting ready for battle. Meaning that Cersei is collecting a secret poison, the essence of nightshade, you know just in case she needs to kill her youngest, Tyron is having a moment with Varys, the eunuch and of course our little Joffrey just has to torture his future wife before he goes to battle. I love that character so hard core. He named his sword. He talks about it like it's a person. He's out of his mind. I love it.

But then on the top of King's Landing wall he is just a little boy. He doesn't understand what's happening because he wasn't the one to think of preparing for an attack. He has no idea what the plan is. So he panics. He is freaking out the entire time he's out there.

But not to worry because Tyrion is leading the defense. And Tyrion rocks.

That might be my favorite suspense moment in the history of GoT. I mean just picture it : it's dark, you're at sea (the least escapable place on earth) and you see this creepy little boat approaching your fleet, there's no one on it it's just slowly advancing toward you. How do those guys not pee their pants ?

Oh and wildfire leaking from the ship. It's horrible because they see it and then they see the arrow and they're like "Well, we're f#cked".

But that's not gonna stop Stannis. So they just go around the nuclear catastrophe and manage to land on the shores. The Hound is leading a sortie to repel Stannis's army but he sees a guy on fire and has a nervous breakdown.

So they all go back inside and The Hound basically says "F#ck all of you" and goes in Sansa's room to drink, I'll get to that.

Anyway Joffrey is about to have a meltdown or start crying. The King's Guard kind of abandoned him but, thank the lord, his mummy's cousin/lover comes to fetch him. I love that shot. He looks at Tyrion for like a second but there's so much shame in this look, he knows he's not doing the right thing, the brave thing but he's just too scared to do anything else. He's so depressing, he's almost loveable.

But Tyrion manages to get the troops' morale back up ! 

But Tyrion gets slashed across the face ! Boooooh ! Burn the guy that did that. I gotta say that moment was a huge wtf? Who's that guy ? He's in the King's guard but it's not like we've ever seen him talk or anything ! And what's his deal ? Seriously where the hell did that come from ? The dude looked at him and he went all murderous like "Oh you're pretty, let me fix that for you !"

I don't remember seeing this little guy before but I like him. A lot. He's 10 times braver than Joffrey will ever be, he's completely selfless and he's kind of round and cute. Like a baby pig. You know, in a good way !

And inside the castle, Cersei offered shelter to the ladies of the court. With a guy standing by to kill them, just in case. How so very thoughtful. Anyway she tried to talk them to death all night. Honestly what's with the opening up in the most creepy and depressing way possible ? Just for kicks ?

Then she punched her cousin/whore where he'd just taken an arrow and left. That led to a whole another wtf? So Sansa left too and went to her room where she found the Hound, drinking and being all "Imminent death makes me a philosopher". Then he proposes to take her back home. Like, whaaa? Sure, you wanna elope too ? They've had more and more scenes together lately and I just don't see where that's going.

And the last (but not least) scene of the episode. Cersei telling a cute little story about a mother and her cub destined to be king before she makes her son drink some poison. "It'll protect you" oh will it now ? I get her point, I understand why she'd want to do that, save him the pain of being a prisoner and being executed but Jesus, if you're gonna go through with that, have the presence of mind to wait until you're sure it's over, until they're at your door.

But then Tywin Lannister barges in like "Daddy's home, it's over"

I have to admit I found Cersei's reaction bewildering. It was so childish, the unconditional trust she puts in her father is really sweet. Anyway, the battle is over, the Lannisters are still standing, well most of them ... I don't think they could actually kill Tyrion but there's this little doubt that makes it seem impossible to wait another 5 days ! Only one episode left, can't wait !

Game Of Thrones : Oh, The Lannisters ...

God, this show is so frustrating I want to talk about everything that happened in the last episode ! Arya, Gendry and Piggy boy escaped, Bran and his little brother are still alive (granted I was expecting that one but still !), Theon was pushed around by his sister and obnoxious Robb got some sympathy sex for imprisoning his mommy like, okay, whatever ...

But what I care about most, as always, is the Lannisters.

 Oh Joffrey, how I have missed you, the psychotic edge you put to that smile, your constantly trying to prove you're strong and fearless when really you're not ... All of you Joffrey, I've missed all of you !

"I'll give him a red smile" uh, sure dude, whatever you say ... He's so pathetic when he tries to be ruthless but it is so fun to watch ! Honestly, even if right now he's ridiculous, I think that with fifteen more years a guy that creepy could really become a feared and respected king. But for some reason I don't think we'll ever get to see him as more than he is now.

Cersei is a bitch. We already knew she was stronger and braver than her son, mostly because she's more experienced, but we hadn't really seen this cruel side yet.

Oh Tyrion ... My hero. He's the best character of this show and Peter Dinklage is simply amazing.

So Cersei found "his" whore. Actually it was the other one. I still don't know her name, but poor girl. She never should have left Winterfell, all this crap just keeps happening to her ... Anyway Tyrion acted as if she was his lover, and Cersei had her revenge.

After threatening Cersei, Tyrion ran to his real love, Shae. It was such a sweet moment. I'm gonna sound like a girly little girl but it was so adorable. I love Tyrion, we've established that, and I love that he's funny and cynical, but there's also this extremely fragile side of him that we've only seen when he was with Shae and it is just heartbreaking. Without her he'd be completely lost. He'd probably kill hir sister if she ever harmed her.

Yes she is yours, please be happy !

Gone but never forgotten, Jaime Lannister. Boy, did I miss you !

Since he was made a prisoner by Robb the faggety fagget, we didn't see much of him. But thanks to Robb's insufferable mother he's free ! And I cannot wait to see more of him.
"Has anyone ever told you you are as boring as you are ugly ?" I mean come on ! Who says that ? Welcome back Jaime, I do hope we'll be hearing from you very soon, like tonight for example.

It took me a while to write about last week's episode because there was so much I wanted to talk about it was just so hard to choose ! I still want to talk about Snow with Ygritte's gang, and Theon's struggle for power, but I guess I'll have to save it for a rainy afternoon.

Game of Thrones : Love Everywhere

I love Jon Snow. He's possibly the sweetest character on Game of Thrones. And he's pretty sweet on the eyes too.

 So he was North of the Wall with Qhorin and they came across a group of Eskimos, so they decided to kill them all. Except for the one Snow was after, that turned out to be a girl.

He was so adorably naive in that moment because he couldn't kill a woman as easily as a man, regardless of which side of the Wall he's on. She had the advantage from the start but the others still left the two of them alone giving her the opportunity to overpower him.

To give credit where credit is due, he did try to decapitate her. He looked like he was having the life sucked out of him, but he tried, with her yelling at him to get on with it.

Still he didn't want to do it, he couldn't bring himself to kill a girl. And a young one. Perhaps approximately his own age ? 

The only thing that makes me doubt she's gonna be the one to ... you know, make him a man, is that in this shot she looked a lot like Arya. And of course if she just reminded him of his sister ... Well, gross.

Anyway he brought the sword down, like 3 feet away from her face and she was all like "Huh ?"

And he was all "Oops !"

Then she kicked him in the leg and ran away. But of course he found her, threatened her, couldn't bring himself to do it, bla bla bla ...

Anyway, when they couldn't find the others they decided to spend the night side by side 'cause that's just what you do ! To be continued ..

Then there's the older brother. I gotta say I have absolutely no interest in his life at all. He can be King of the North or one of Little Finger's whores, doesn't make a difference to me. However, I couldn't help but notice that that's two brothers with a subtle, sort of, maybe-one-day relationship.

I already forgot her name but he called her a Lady, and told her it was obvious she was of noble birth and I guess for some reason she was flattered. Boring. At least their last exchange had something to it ! She wasn't acting like she was sooooo happy to be talking to him.

Then his mama came along and sort of killed the mood. I love how she arrived like "Okay kiddos ! Moment over, move !"

And to add to the subtlety of this kinda-maybe crush, she got all serious and reminded him he was already promised to another. Just sayin'.

I get that at some point they have to have these kinds of story lines. But do they have to be that obvious ? That's something to think about. Or maybe I'm just being difficult. 'Till next time !