The 100 : Please Get Better

   Hello there, Internet, oh how I've missed you. No, this is still not Revolution. Patience my friends, you'll get it when you get it. Today we're talking about space cowboys. Except, not as cool.

This show is terrible, just let me get that out of the way. But I love it. I can't help it, there's no use in fighting it, that's just the way life works sometimes.

    So, almost all of what remained of the initial 100 got locked into a military base, it's pretty cozy too but apparently they can't ever leave. Somehow, only Clarke seems to think that's a problem. Jasper loves the newfound safety and food and shit, so he follows her on her rebel adventures just to keep an eye on her. Then, there's this guy..

    Basically some people from the base got hurt on a scouting mission. Also, some people got shot by the space people camp (the good peeps), so we can assume those are the same people. Anyway, when they get back, an alarm sounds, alerting the compound people that their people are hurt. I'm saying "people" a lot. Clarke wants to see what's up so she goes and sees the guy with radioactive skin and a dead guy with what appears to be a bullet wound.

    She goes to the president of the creepy base of doom, and calls bullshit on the whole 'they got attacked by grounders' thing. She asks to see the body, and since it's completely normal to show a 17 year old girl a dead body just 'cause she wants to, he agrees.

But apparently she can't see the body right away. No, they have to wait for "decontamination". Because it would be "dangerous" not to.

Bitch doesn't suspect a thing

    Then they do show her the body they've had all the time in the world to fuck around with. And here's the result of their little fuckery. I'm sorry but that still looks like a bullet wound to me. Then again what do I know..

    And that's the arrow the "grounders' used to kill the dude. So you're telling me that that made that tiny little hole up here ? But I mean whatever, sure, you know what you're doing.

    At the space people camp, Marcus (I found out that's his name) pretends he's sent out a search team, and asks Bellamy for intel on the grounders. Bellamy is still locked up.

He wants to go on the search team and get his people back because he's awesome like that.

    Then comes in Murphy. They have a little heart to heart with a screaming Raven in the background and Bellamy's a righteous son of a bitch because.. that's also his thing. But at least he's awesome at it. No one's perfect and all that shit, okay?

    The reason Raven is screaming when she should have died like 4 episodes ago, is because the producers aren't completely brain dead and that's close to the best character they have. So they decided to save her life with an excruciatingly painful procedure, for the sake of angst & bravery.

    Anyway, Clarke's mom explains the situation : there's 2 options. Leave the bullet in her spine and she's a cripple for life (but we're sure she gets to live her crappy life), OR, dig it the fuck outta there and maybe she dies but maybe she can walk again.

    So, of course they fucking dig it out, and I don't even get how they see it as a choice to make. Like, hey guys, I have a plan, we do nothing, and maybe being a cripple won't kill her ? WHO'S WITH ME?

But Raven knows she's dead either way, so, on we go.

    The surgery goes fine, she doesn't die, coz.. well if she was gonna die she would have died when she sacrificed herself. BUT, she's still down one leg. And that's sad.

    But Finn's here for her. Awww, right ? But she tells him to fuck off and go look for the 48 people that fucking vanished. Way to keep the story moving, you go girl.

So he goes and breaks Bellamy out.

Bellamy is happy.

    Bellamy unilaterally decides they're taking Murphy, because the viewers (all 600 of us) have come to like him. And he knows where the grounder's camp is. Isn't it beautiful how useful a traitorous son of a bitch can become ?

    They go meet with Abby and that guy whose son died or got captured, we don't know yet (he probably got captured, let's be honest they love their reunion scenes). And you just gotta love teen television where the adults let the kids do all the dangerous shit and supply them with weapons. Hail crappy TV.

And that's all we got on that front. NOW. Isaiah Washington.

    He's going crazy and hearing a baby crying. Oxygen deprivation can be a bitch like that. But then, he's not crazy, 'cause he found the baby  and no one can see where that's going..

So the tiny human is adorable, he makes cute little noises and shit and no one can resist a cute mixed baby.

So Jaha starts actively looking for a way to not die alone in space. Because he's found a reason to fight.

And isn't that adorable?? You can't tell at all how they're manipulating our emotions it's truly beautiful.

    Plan is, get into a missile that they had left over because of reasons. But the station is kind of broken so they can't get to the missile through the usual corridors and walled spaces. So.. SHORTCUT!

Jaha's got the baby safely attached, protected inside of his suit. And the glass of his helmet's visor is cracked but he doesn't give a fuck coz he a badass.

Here we see Jaha flying in space.

Anyway the glass breaks because, of course, but he's fine, because, obviously.. and he gets to the airlock just in time. Truly beautiful.

    Now I'd like to point something out if you don't mind. This is how his body was positioned at the moment of depressurization (or whatever it is that sucks the weightlessness right outta the room). Then he landed flat on his stomach.

    My point being that, the baby is not there because having a baby character is a pain, and if the show doesn't revolve around that, the baby's got to go, BUT even if  the baby hadn't been a hallucination, he would've crushed it with his body. So you tell me which is worse, realizing your mind was just fucking with you (and got you a shot at survival in the process) or that the tiny human was actually real and beautiful and he was going to be your little ray of sunshine but now it's just a puddle of blood, goo and broken bones ? I have my opinion on that, you are all entitled to yours.

So, following all that, we have a nervous breakdown, which makes sense.

Then his actual grown ass son appears to him in a dream.

    And I don't care about Jaha all that much, I definitely hated his son and I'm glad he's gone but, look at that face. Say what you will about Isaiah Washington, the man can show you desperation.

Anyway he gets to earth and at first he's just like YAAAAYY SAAAAAAAANND and then..

A big WTF?.. I'm assuming he's like far away from where he would've preferred to land. But I have no clue where the fuck that is.

But back to the conspiracy and creepy old men. Clarke sees the radioactive skin guy just strolling about, looking fine-ish.

So she follows him to the medical wtv part of the compound. But she can't get in because she's not a patient.

So she slashes her wrist open. Well, back  open.

Now, in the infirmary she's free to snoop around as she wishes. So we see the dialysis thingy again, yes very well.

    She's seen it like 10 times and it's been explained to her what that thing is for, but she's still like "WTF is that shit, WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOu, i'm so confused.."

    But she does notice the blood doesn't go into the machine then back into his body like with what us non murderous people call regular dialysis. Instead it goes into a freaking pipe, that leads out-freakin-side.

    She manages to follow it because it's TV and you can go through vents and shit, and whaddaya know, the creepy compound people have a creepy blood drainage basement.

And lots of creepy cages, with people waiting for their creepy death. Creepily.

And the grounder leader Anya is there, however you spell that, aaaand end of the episode.

    So. I don't know if you can tell but I have mixed feelings about this show. We're on the crappy side of television, but that's not really a problem, I like this side. It's my kind of crap. Sadly, on the crappy side of TV we got crappy ratings, and after many cancelling traumas, I know what to expect. So it's okay that it's probably going to get cancelled, but if they could, please for the love of god, get them out of Mount Weather and back to the relationship accelerant that is the real action-packed radioactive world by mid-season, that'd be great. Lemme have dis before it goes away forever.

I'm Still Here, Don't You Worry !

   Hey guys, so I've been away, I know, I've been having computer problems.. BIG PROBLEMS. The kind where I can't actually use my 6 yr old computer for more than 20 minutes at a time.

   So until I can get the money for a new one, writing long posts with 80 pictures in them is kind of an issue for me. Don't worry I'll find another one to use/borrow for all of eternity. So you're getting a Revolution post soon ! And it will be on episode 20, I can tell you that already. I will probably/maybe also review ep 19, I have no words for that Bass/Rachel thing but it will come. Right now all I can tell you is : it's bad. It is bad, and wrong and it shouldn't be here for us to discuss, NO. Honestly, it ruined everything, I didn't even watch episode 20 until 2 days ago. But luckily that one was pure undiluted awesomeness.

   On another note, I'm back to loving TVD. Hannibal is awesome, it never EVER disappoints which is statistically very impressive. The Vergers are awesome, Will is awesome, Freddy Lounds isn't dead, Alana finally got her head out of her ass, you can just feel the Silence of the Lambs era coming, it's great I cannot say it enough : this show is pure perfection, it's a work of art, and the story is developing perfectly and at an extremely satisfying pace. And The 100 is terrible but it's my guilty pleasure. Even though it REALLY is bad.

   Ok, I'm having a really hard time not rambling about sh!t so I'm gonna have to cut this short. Sorry, 'gotta publish before my computer crashes, that lazy selfish bastard.. Love you all, don't give up on me, I'll be back soon !  OH!! And, by the way, I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP ON CHARLOE AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU ! I repeat : CHARLOE IS GOLDEN.

The Tomorrow People : Oh, My, How Things DO Fall Apart

   Okay, so there's this show, it's called The Tomorrow People, blah blah blah, Julie Plec, love triangle(s), etc. 

   

   So Cara and John were kinda sorta together--we're not saying it but it's for f#cking ever bitches kinda relationship. Until she met Stephen and just could not help herself. But it was really just a one time thing (at least that's its current status) and we haven't heard much about it since. And Cara and John have slowly been getting back to that magical little place called "Cara and John together, get your own girl, Stephen".

And finally there was some confirmation to that ! And it started out with her washing him, so..yeah. I think we've established that Cara and John have actual history and as close as we're going to get to chemistry on this show. Moving on to the actual plot.

   Stephen got his BFF, Astrid, in a delicate situation. Since he's a "Tomorrow person"*WORSTNAMEEVERSOMEONEHADTOSAYITTHERE* and Astrid knows about it, that makes her a super serious threat they need to eliminate or it'll be the end of them. Suuuuuuure. So Stephen quits, doesn't make sense but we need it to ensure actual plot progress. And yay we got a solution, a deal with the super big bad, I cannot remember his name and the truth is I just don't care.

   Stephen has to get the big bad's daughter who's been robbing banks and using her powers like there was no tomorrow (no pun intended) in order to get Astrid her shot at a normal life back.

   He gets her to their secret good guys lair and she's actually a decent person. She wants her powers stripped from her so that her dad will leave her alone and not make her work with/for him, maiming people and stuff.

   While all that is happening, John and Cara have a really sweet moment. No they don't, they could have, but they don't. See, John wants to talk about the fact that he kissed her and she kissed him back. Stands to reason, those are things that do need discussing.

   But Cara's not exactly seeing things the same way, 'cause if she's with him she can't be impartial. Okay.. So she rejects any and all possibilities of him and her being anything more than casual partners in saving their race. All right. Well Cara, go die somewhere cold and painful, yeah that's right, somewhere painful, I'm trying to like you but you're nothing but a constant disappointment. #EverybodyHatesCara

   John was probably about to say something really sweet and convincing but, cock block.

Nope, not interrupting anything. Can't you tell how casual this all feels ?

   So they brainstorm through all that's happened so far, and, finally, it does strike them as slightly suspicious that one of the most powerful and (possibly) the worst of their kind asked one little intern to get him his big bad empire's potential heir. Stephen doesn't agree, he wants to help Astrid and get it over with, but Cara unilaterally decides they're keeping Cassie (oh yeah her name is Cassie by the way) until they know what the hell is happening.

   This surprisingly good-ish decision allows Cara to actually go and talk to Cassie. And it appears that Cassie has no memory of her time in Brown, where she supposedly graduated. Interesting.

   Cara delves into the depths of her mind, it's all torture and crazy scientists/DAD, and Cara is too shocked to tell Cassie the truth about what happened to her. Sometimes it's the big decisions, sometimes it's all in the little details, but Cara sucks.

   Anyway at least they know why she'd rather have her powers stripped than be of any interest to her father and I'm guessing Cara's not okay with them just handing her over to the psychotic bastard, which, actually a good decision, good job you little.. I don't even know! So the plan is for Stephen to go to the meeting spot or search the lab where Cassie's brain was chemically and technologically abused or something, clearly I'm not in this for the amazingly sophisticated plot developments !

Don't criticize my amazing plot developments

 
   Stephen, being the badass that he is, gets captured. Now let's not make fun of Stephen, he tried and failed there's no shame in that.*small evil laugh* I actually like Stephen. I'm not rooting for him regarding the whole Cara's a slut situation, but I like him.

   While Stephen's being sequestrated, the underground people have to do something otherwise Stephen dies and the show's kind of over. So. John defies Cara's authority by taking Cassie and bringing her to Ultra.

   Cassie's basically a sweet British girl who seems like a really good person, but not in an annoying way which is so freaking rare these days, man... So for some reason I guess she's not feeling so hot about going to see her Daddy after all, but luckily this is TV land! Never underestimate the power of a good ol' motivational speech.

   Naturally, Cassie then goes in and saves the day. Stephen's safe, yay great idea perfectly executed except, oops, she's stuck with a psychopath that wants her on his side more than anything (mostly a hypothesis but either way, not a good situation to be in), but yeah great plan anyway !

   Cara is not comfortable with the way things turned out and most importantly she's not happy with John questioning her authority. In front of everyone.

   So she's pissed, her pride is hurt, and she's self-conscious about her ability to keep her troops in line. I understand the feeling, I actually could agree with it, but the way Cara handles things, I mean what the hell are you trying to accomplish here, girl ?! Threatening your years-long love to kick him out of the only place he's really safe because he disrespected you in order to save the guy you cheated on him with's life, well that's never the right way to go about these issues. I'm not even sure that was a real sentence but yeah you're in the wrong Cara. So John gets a little pissed and calls her bluff. Now, I like John and I like everything he does but that was not a smart move. Calling Cara's bluff in front of everyone ?? Didn't we already cover this ?!

   So Cara goes through with her threat and tells him to pack his stuff and go which is of course not the right decision since John was the leader and, basically, father figure of the group for a loooong time before she was put in charge like 2 episodes ago.. If he's not safe, no one is, it's called Survival Instinct Under Dictatorship you idiot ! Girl, I am done with you, this is the last straw I am not gonna force myself to like you anymore !

Disrespect me again ?! You going down mothafucka !

   John is somewhat surprised/revolted by all this but really, we all saw it coming. She was trying to make a statement here, to like, take back control (which she still had, materially) and he freaking tried to rip it away from her, you don't do that man, you just don't my little baby.

But.. I want to decide.

   Anyway, end of the episode, Cassie's screwed but she manages to warn Stephen, that he's a dumb idiot if he believed for a single second that her dad was gonna hold up his end of the deal. Astrid's in danger, but having lunch with Stephen's mom (no idea why, don't ask, plot twist) who luckily has powers to protect everybody, yaaaaay..

   I cannot believe this is Julie Plec's work. Even though the Vampire Diaries has been pretty bad lately *past couple years, no biggie* I still like the tone and (some of) the characters, and I'm actually really enjoying the Originals -even though they're shipping all the wrong ships..but we're not getting into that!- point is, I like Julie Plec's work but this ?! This is a disgrace. It's fun and the character dynamics are -we'll call it interesting. But it's just not good content, I don't know, I feel about this show the same way I used to feel about the Secret Circle.. Except not as bad because never gonna happen but yeah, that's what it reminds me of. Keep it up, I guess ?