The 100 : Please Get Better

   Hello there, Internet, oh how I've missed you. No, this is still not Revolution. Patience my friends, you'll get it when you get it. Today we're talking about space cowboys. Except, not as cool.

This show is terrible, just let me get that out of the way. But I love it. I can't help it, there's no use in fighting it, that's just the way life works sometimes.

    So, almost all of what remained of the initial 100 got locked into a military base, it's pretty cozy too but apparently they can't ever leave. Somehow, only Clarke seems to think that's a problem. Jasper loves the newfound safety and food and shit, so he follows her on her rebel adventures just to keep an eye on her. Then, there's this guy..

    Basically some people from the base got hurt on a scouting mission. Also, some people got shot by the space people camp (the good peeps), so we can assume those are the same people. Anyway, when they get back, an alarm sounds, alerting the compound people that their people are hurt. I'm saying "people" a lot. Clarke wants to see what's up so she goes and sees the guy with radioactive skin and a dead guy with what appears to be a bullet wound.

    She goes to the president of the creepy base of doom, and calls bullshit on the whole 'they got attacked by grounders' thing. She asks to see the body, and since it's completely normal to show a 17 year old girl a dead body just 'cause she wants to, he agrees.

But apparently she can't see the body right away. No, they have to wait for "decontamination". Because it would be "dangerous" not to.

Bitch doesn't suspect a thing

    Then they do show her the body they've had all the time in the world to fuck around with. And here's the result of their little fuckery. I'm sorry but that still looks like a bullet wound to me. Then again what do I know..

    And that's the arrow the "grounders' used to kill the dude. So you're telling me that that made that tiny little hole up here ? But I mean whatever, sure, you know what you're doing.

    At the space people camp, Marcus (I found out that's his name) pretends he's sent out a search team, and asks Bellamy for intel on the grounders. Bellamy is still locked up.

He wants to go on the search team and get his people back because he's awesome like that.

    Then comes in Murphy. They have a little heart to heart with a screaming Raven in the background and Bellamy's a righteous son of a bitch because.. that's also his thing. But at least he's awesome at it. No one's perfect and all that shit, okay?

    The reason Raven is screaming when she should have died like 4 episodes ago, is because the producers aren't completely brain dead and that's close to the best character they have. So they decided to save her life with an excruciatingly painful procedure, for the sake of angst & bravery.

    Anyway, Clarke's mom explains the situation : there's 2 options. Leave the bullet in her spine and she's a cripple for life (but we're sure she gets to live her crappy life), OR, dig it the fuck outta there and maybe she dies but maybe she can walk again.

    So, of course they fucking dig it out, and I don't even get how they see it as a choice to make. Like, hey guys, I have a plan, we do nothing, and maybe being a cripple won't kill her ? WHO'S WITH ME?

But Raven knows she's dead either way, so, on we go.

    The surgery goes fine, she doesn't die, coz.. well if she was gonna die she would have died when she sacrificed herself. BUT, she's still down one leg. And that's sad.

    But Finn's here for her. Awww, right ? But she tells him to fuck off and go look for the 48 people that fucking vanished. Way to keep the story moving, you go girl.

So he goes and breaks Bellamy out.

Bellamy is happy.

    Bellamy unilaterally decides they're taking Murphy, because the viewers (all 600 of us) have come to like him. And he knows where the grounder's camp is. Isn't it beautiful how useful a traitorous son of a bitch can become ?

    They go meet with Abby and that guy whose son died or got captured, we don't know yet (he probably got captured, let's be honest they love their reunion scenes). And you just gotta love teen television where the adults let the kids do all the dangerous shit and supply them with weapons. Hail crappy TV.

And that's all we got on that front. NOW. Isaiah Washington.

    He's going crazy and hearing a baby crying. Oxygen deprivation can be a bitch like that. But then, he's not crazy, 'cause he found the baby  and no one can see where that's going..

So the tiny human is adorable, he makes cute little noises and shit and no one can resist a cute mixed baby.

So Jaha starts actively looking for a way to not die alone in space. Because he's found a reason to fight.

And isn't that adorable?? You can't tell at all how they're manipulating our emotions it's truly beautiful.

    Plan is, get into a missile that they had left over because of reasons. But the station is kind of broken so they can't get to the missile through the usual corridors and walled spaces. So.. SHORTCUT!

Jaha's got the baby safely attached, protected inside of his suit. And the glass of his helmet's visor is cracked but he doesn't give a fuck coz he a badass.

Here we see Jaha flying in space.

Anyway the glass breaks because, of course, but he's fine, because, obviously.. and he gets to the airlock just in time. Truly beautiful.

    Now I'd like to point something out if you don't mind. This is how his body was positioned at the moment of depressurization (or whatever it is that sucks the weightlessness right outta the room). Then he landed flat on his stomach.

    My point being that, the baby is not there because having a baby character is a pain, and if the show doesn't revolve around that, the baby's got to go, BUT even if  the baby hadn't been a hallucination, he would've crushed it with his body. So you tell me which is worse, realizing your mind was just fucking with you (and got you a shot at survival in the process) or that the tiny human was actually real and beautiful and he was going to be your little ray of sunshine but now it's just a puddle of blood, goo and broken bones ? I have my opinion on that, you are all entitled to yours.

So, following all that, we have a nervous breakdown, which makes sense.

Then his actual grown ass son appears to him in a dream.

    And I don't care about Jaha all that much, I definitely hated his son and I'm glad he's gone but, look at that face. Say what you will about Isaiah Washington, the man can show you desperation.

Anyway he gets to earth and at first he's just like YAAAAYY SAAAAAAAANND and then..

A big WTF?.. I'm assuming he's like far away from where he would've preferred to land. But I have no clue where the fuck that is.

But back to the conspiracy and creepy old men. Clarke sees the radioactive skin guy just strolling about, looking fine-ish.

So she follows him to the medical wtv part of the compound. But she can't get in because she's not a patient.

So she slashes her wrist open. Well, back  open.

Now, in the infirmary she's free to snoop around as she wishes. So we see the dialysis thingy again, yes very well.

    She's seen it like 10 times and it's been explained to her what that thing is for, but she's still like "WTF is that shit, WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOu, i'm so confused.."

    But she does notice the blood doesn't go into the machine then back into his body like with what us non murderous people call regular dialysis. Instead it goes into a freaking pipe, that leads out-freakin-side.

    She manages to follow it because it's TV and you can go through vents and shit, and whaddaya know, the creepy compound people have a creepy blood drainage basement.

And lots of creepy cages, with people waiting for their creepy death. Creepily.

And the grounder leader Anya is there, however you spell that, aaaand end of the episode.

    So. I don't know if you can tell but I have mixed feelings about this show. We're on the crappy side of television, but that's not really a problem, I like this side. It's my kind of crap. Sadly, on the crappy side of TV we got crappy ratings, and after many cancelling traumas, I know what to expect. So it's okay that it's probably going to get cancelled, but if they could, please for the love of god, get them out of Mount Weather and back to the relationship accelerant that is the real action-packed radioactive world by mid-season, that'd be great. Lemme have dis before it goes away forever.

True Blood : A Glimmer of Hope

    I'm skipping the Revolution finale review for now, I'm away and I don't really have time for long ass posts. Also, since I'm away, I'm watching everything a few days late, and I just finished catching up on the last True Blood episode. So let's talk about that.

   This episode had something that's been missing for a looong while now... Eric and Sookie. What's the ship name for that ? Ekie ? Sooric ?! I'm gonna go with Stackman because it's baddass. **EDIT: Turns out it's Sooric.. I guess it's my fault for not starting Stackman, 6 years ago..

   I started watching True Blood when season 3 was airing and I always thought season 2 and 3 were the best. Season 1 was excruciating to watch, but luckily there was one good character named Lafayette. Nelsan Ellis kept me from saying to hell with this sh!t right away. Then came Eric and Pam. And thank God for those two. To this day, they're the only ones (with the exception of Lafayette of course) I'm actually glad to see appear on the screen. 

Actually, I used to skip most of everything that wasn't Eric related. Now I watch the whole thing and it's hard, man.

    True Blood has always been this very peculiar combination of cheesy and creepy, in my opinion. What I'm really trying to say is that it didn't recently just get bad. It is what it's always been. Only, the story lines don't make up for it as much as they might have used to. But anyway, I could never bring myself to stop watching because of that one ship. I wanted to see it happen. Ladies and Gentlemen, Stackman.

    And it happened, eventually. And it was weird but sorta cute. With a side of creepy. Then we had season 5, and season 6, and nothing. Nothing. 2 years I waited for this. TWO f#cking years, and finally here it is.

   Eric gets back to Bon Temps, and it just so happens that we were in need of badass vampires over there. So they get to Bill's house and whaddaya know, Sookie's super happy to see him. Awwwwww..

   It was really nice that this was a Stackman oriented episode, because we have suffered the Bill/Sookie thing for SE-VEN years now (just 5 for me but STILL) and in the episode before that, it was seemingly stronger than ever, but Eric Northman is back b!tches. 

    So they have this little heart to heart (very season 3, IMAO) and even though she's been trying to stay strong and sh!t the entire episode, now Eric's here and he might die too. 

   So her front gives a little and she's not pretending that she's the strongest b!tch in town anymore. He reprimands her choice of boyfriend, then comforts her, it's all very quiet and familiar. Then when she starts to cry just a little (no ugly sobbing or anything) he tells her what he's been up to and -here comes the cheesy- it's adorable that after more than a year of not seeing each other they're so comfortable with each other. 

    Earlier in the episode, Sookie had to mind rape Holly and force her to remember where the infected vampires were keeping the missing humans, and poor Holly broke down after that. Andy, her husband didn't quite know what to do and Sookie simply told him "We like to be held." Just throwing that out there.

   It's a sweet moment. They thought they'd never see each other again and it's nice that they had space to peacefully revel in the fact that after all 7 seasons of non-sense they're both still here, and they've built a strong personal history that belongs only to them.

    But duty calls and they have to go rescue Sookie's friends and co-townies. Eric's sick and dying, so Pam goes in with Bill while the rest of their little operation waits outside.

And of course Eric and Sookie feel a little left out.

  So they hatch their own little diversion plan.

    They get in because Sookie smells like the sun, and flowers and sex in a bottle. And it was a great idea to have them do something like that, it reminds me of the whole fellowship of the sun mess in season 2. *sighh*

And it works perfectly, except, humans are all stupid intolerant rednecks on this show, so they come and ruin it.

    They throw molotovs and shoot vampires and luckily, some of them die. Anyway, while everyone's outside fighting, Sookie's trying to keep Arlene alive long enough to get some healthy vampire blood in her, Bill comes in at some point to do just that, but he says f#ck it 'cause Jessica's in trouble. Which is completely fine, btw !

So Sookie asks poor crippled Eric to get help and he does, 'cause he's a sweetheart.

And then comes the long lingering look of love and gratitude.

    And for some reason, Eric always looks super sad when he does something nice for her. Maybe it's a whole I love her but I can't have her thing, in which case, get over it and just get with her. It'll all be better afterwards, trust me.

    I haven't seen the preview for tonight's episode and I don't even want to know, maybe the whole Sookie/Eric thing is back in the game, maybe they're just gonna be like 'NO. Bill's her true love, stop fighting it. I don't know. Also, Alcide's dead. Did not see that coming. But I guess it was always gonna end like that for him, it was the only way to legitimately remove him from the list of suitors. It's like, you can't have him, he's dead ! You can have Eric or Bill, now CHOOSE. So I guess we'll see.. My hopes are way up now, so tonight's ep will either be awesomely cheesy or it'll definitely seal what my opinion of True Blood has become.